An Everyday Dad Job Description

I talk to a lot of people throughout the country. It's part of my job. Almost every time I meet a new person, and it's a guy, twenty to thirty seconds into our conversation he'll ask the most crucial of questions, "So, what do you do?" If you've never experienced this, it goes a little like this:

Mr. Dude walks up and says, "Hi."
I shake his hand and say, "Hello"
Mr. Dude smiles and says, "So what do you do?"

And that's pretty much it. I've fallen victim to this icebreaker so many times that I've learned to have some fun with it. Instead of talking about what I do to make a living, I've found that dishing out a more thorough description seems fair. As a father of three, it makes for much more fun. You should try it sometime. Here are some examples of what I do; as a dad.

I'm an Everyday Superhero. I jump off the couch and save their stuffed animals from being sucked up by the vacuum and I rescue plastic ducks from the toilet. 

I'm a Spider Killer. This can be a highly controversial topic, but spiders don't live once found in the house. My kids find them, I take them down. End of story.

I'm a High Fashion Stylist. When mom's not at home, I'm in charge of their hair. I can put a bow on them like a champion. Be jelly, Paul Mitchell.

I'm a Gourmet Chef. I make art with food. It can be soup from a can or noodles from a box; it truly does not matter. They consider my food presentation the finest.  

I'm a Plummer. Enough said. 

I'm a Bodyguard and Protector. Even in our cul-de-sac, I watch their every move. No ant will bite, no crack will trip them. The moments they get scared, I run into their room and tell them the coast is clear. 

I'm Please Daddy. Sometimes it's bubble gum and other times ice cream. Our youngest knows it's my kryptonite. 

I'm a Tea Party Coordinator. I handle the invitations for Winnie the Pooh and other celebrities to all our daughters' formal tea parties. 

I'm a Creative Planner. There are times in which boredom sets in.  I destroy it with break dancing contests or a treasure hunting trip. 

I'm a Stunt Driver. Even in our suburban neighborhood and surroundings, it's necessary to learn these mad skills. You'd be surprised on how many times we've had to pull off some moves in a Target parking lot. 

I'm the Tooth Fairy. No wings. Just straight up tooth for cash exchange. 

Honestly, I have so many other roles. But my favorite is this...

I'm a Husband to a beautiful wife, a father to some pretty awesome kids, and graciously privileged to be loved by Christ. If not for those things, my identity might rest in things far less significant. 

“Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter." - Francis Chan

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