4 Things Little Girls Need from Their Dads

As a dad, it's natural to be concerned with what your child needs. You want them to have, in many cases, what you didn't have growing up.

Maybe that means a nice house, a superior education, or an opportunity that allows for a better life. Although those things can be a big deal, what if those things are not the most important need to them? I remember growing up and thinking that our house was huge. We had a back yard that all the neighborhood kids would gather to play ball and our neighbor had a fence so it was perfect for baseball and home-runs. We had a shed that we would go into and play war games. There seemed to be tons of space. A few months ago, I decided to drive by my old house to reminisce. I couldn't believe what I saw. Not a thing had changed; same color, same shed. But everything was so tiny! It wasn't at all what I remembered it to be. I guess I didn't need a big house to have a lifetime of memories.

There were other flashbacks on that trip. Ones that were not as pleasant. Like my parents' divorce and the uncertainty it brought. It's because of that I witnessed the ugliness that people can succumb to when in pain and how that can affect how you treat others. That's why with each day that is given, I become more aware that our real needs are never satisfied in material gain or higher academia; our essential needs rest in the heart. As a dad with daughters, I can struggle with this one myself. I've got deadlines and check-lists that have to be completed in order to maintain a lifestyle that allows for them to have opportunities that I never had. But there are moments that I can be so focused on my work that I lose sight of what they really need. They don't care about what car I drive (they're still little), what my title is, or how much money we have in our bank account; they care about things they really need.

Maybe you are wrestling with this and don't know where to start. Maybe being a dad isn't natural. Maybe your dad was never in the picture. But you can make a difference right where you are. Here are some tried and true principals that every little girl needs from their dad.

She needs to know she will never lose your love. Your child will make mistakes. They will do things sometimes that blow your mind. As we speak my daughter has silly putty in her mouth! Love them anyway. Assuring them in the moments that they least expect it strengthens their confidence and casts out fear. They need that! We need that! Deep down in every heart our greatest need is to know we are loved unconditionally. So your presence is important, but cheering them on is a necessity.

She needs to know she can change the world. She doesn't have to be on a stage or be a trending hashtag to impact the world. But she does need a father that believes in her so passionately that, when she has doubt, dad doesn't doubt and she can brave the hardship that comes with changing her world. She may grow up to be philanthropist, an actress, or a stay-at-home mother. We need to instill in her heart an unbreakable belief that she matters and what she does with her life does, too. Just think, your legacy lives on through her life.

She needs you to set the standard on how to be treated by the other gender. This one's scary. You have to ask the question, "Are you being the type of man that you'd want your daughter to be with?" Don't take this out of context or get weird. My 6 year old isn't allowed to date and we don't plan on considering it for another 20 years, but it's a serious question. It's not just a question about chivalry and southern charm. If she brought home someone like YOU to meet YOU would you be supportive of her decision? We constantly need to be aware that we are setting the stage for her future relationship with the other gender. I don't want and will not encourage my daughter to be mistreated, patronized, belittled, discouraged, suppressed, or unloved. So our model, how we display ourselves in her witness, teach her what to expect and accept. It starts with her dad. Which leads me to this last point.

She needs to know you love her mother. I know some of you are reading this and may not be married. Many of you reading this are. If you have a daughter than she has a mother. Regardless of your history with her mother, you should love her mother anyway! This may be the most difficult and challenging thing for you to do. You may have every justifiable reason to dismiss this idea. Your child might not live with you and her mother might speak about you poorly. Maybe your wife has you all crazy with lists and stuff to do. It is in these moments where your love for her mother is most important. If she can see a father love her mother through the most gut wrenching circumstances or apologize to her mother when he's wrong, her character will be all the better and she will see a real man. So what if your pride takes a hit? Make that call. Send that check. Go and do the extra work it takes to love her mother right now. 

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