The term "bullying" has been thrown around quite a bit lately. If you're a sports fan, you've most likely heard about the Miami Dolphins lineman Jonathan Martin, and guard, Richie Incognito.
I'll have to admit, when I first heard this story it didn't seem to be worthy of all the attention. As a former athlete I would have considered this type of trash talk and hazing common, and in some cases encouraged in the world of sports. Add to that bullying seemed a strong word for two guys big enough to hold their own. But as I thought more about this I asked the question, "Why would this ever be acceptable?" And if professional athletes and grown adults aren't immune to it, who is?
The truth is bullying can affect everyone—those who are bullied, those who bully, and those who witness bullying. Bullying is linked to many negative outcomes including impacts on mental health, substance use, and suicide. Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. It comes in all kinds of forms; verbal, social, physical.
As a dad, this is what hits me hardest...
According to Child Trends:
"Children who have less-involved parents are more likely to bully others, as are those who have siblings or parents who model or endorse aggressive behavior. Parenting styles linked to social bullying include those lacking nurturing or that rely on psychological control of children; children with parents who manipulate relationships to assert power or gain attention are also more likely to engage in social bullying.”
Wow. Can we just agree right now that we will never be our child's bully? We can so easily point the finger and judge others wondering why kids grow up to be 6'3", 315 lb bullies; but it starts with us!!!
As fathers we cannot afford to be disengaged. As fathers we cannot afford to miss out on the opportunities to nurture and shape the character of our children. Don't just stand by cowardly leaving that responsibility to mom. If you're justifying your less than involved lifestyle due to work; find a new job. If you're bailing out on your responsibilities at home because of a weekend out with the guys; get new friends! Our sons and daughters are looking to us for love and guidance and if we don't stand up and provide those needs, something or someone else will.
Bullying isn't prejudge. It doesn't just live in locker rooms or at school bus stops. It doesn't rely solely on social media or racial tension. It starts at the home and in our hearts! Protect those things at all cost! Don't be your child's bully...
If you’re wondering whether your child is a victim of bullying from someone or know that your child is a victim and need some guidance in how to help your child, check out these great resources that provide definitions of and data on bullying, as well as, advice on how to deal with bullies.
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."
- Psalms 127:3-5
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