So your kids are running around the house and creating pet names for inanimate objects. Bobo, the sock puppet, flies through the air and smacks you right in the face. It's supposed to be time for your children to dive into homework and relish insightful conversation about computability theory, but instead you find yourself internally reciting Stuart Smalley quotes in order to survive. You think, "Why won't they listen?" or, "Is there something I'm doing wrong?" You only want the best for them and without some academic advancement they may not survive. Who will they become? Breathe. Exhale... Your child might be a ninja!!!???
The truth is there's no cookie-cutter kit for the perfect child. We all have dreams and aspirations for our children that we'd desperately long to see come to fruition. We should be thoughtful and care deeply about how they make a contribution to society. But our children are prewired for greatness and we often take on the role of engineer; meddling with their future. It's in those moments we foul up their operating system and fume with agitation while everything crashes. But what if you could expel your plans of who they must become and replace them with finding their strengths? What if your frustrations turned into falling in love with their weaknesses? Maybe your child will grow up to be a ninja; maybe a doctor, or a mother of 3. What's most important is that they know they are fearfully and wonderful made. Here are some practical ways to allow your children to find out who they are, how they fit into the world and what they can bring to it.
1. Cultivate Creativity. Constantly forcing methods that are static leave little room for adventurous observation. If you find yourself nagging more than nurturing, ditch the routine and seek to find what excites your child. Ask them what they'd like to learn and gravitate towards it. Buy the books. Go to the exhibits.
2. Fuel Their Passion. It's all too easy to work yourself into exhaustion spending all your time fixing your child's weakness. By doing this we unwittingly send our children disapproving messages causing them to focus on their weaknesses. Discover their strengths and encourage their interests. Use supportive words and challenge them to keep going. It may be odd to you at first, but where lies their passion lies their purpose.
3. Get Messy. Comfort and structure bring us false security. Forcing your child into a lifestyle of plan B's leaves them with a sense of self-doubt. For children to discover and develop their purpose they need to have freedom to get messy and fail. Allow a change of scenery and give them the keys to drive a bit. Guide them along the way, but dig in the dirt and get dirty. Eat weird stuff. Be a kid with them and watch their purpose unfold.
*If these little tips don't land, give this last one some consideration.
Bonus Option. Love them like Jesus. Your children are an entrusted gift. They have been placed in your care and only for a season. The moments you become swallowed in the abyss of pressure; stop, drop and roll into the arms of a Father that knows your every need.
People were also bringing babies to Jesus for him to place his hands on them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Luke 18:15-17 (NIV)
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